Assisted Living and Elderly Couples
Staying together as a couple becomes even more important as we age

Assisted Living and Elderly Couples

Who is the most important person to you in your life?

Many people answer that the most important person in their lives, is their child, their parent, their spouse or some other significant loved one.

When looking at living and care options, the adult children, spouse, and other close loved ones are often involved in the process of evaluating important senior living and care options, helping with the decision-making process.

Elderly couples often wish to stay together and find that a decision they face may involve being physically separated. While one partner remains at home or finds that different senior community options are more suitable for one but not the other partner based on individual needs. One person may be better off receiving higher levels of care in an assisted living while the other partner remains in a more independent living setting.

This feels like a difficult dilemma, but not one without options. For the couple who has shared a rich history, experienced boundless moments together, and created some of the happiest memories in life – the thought of not being in the same household can be anxiety provoking.

As we age, our reliance on our spouses, our family and others increase, and this puts pressure and stress on other people in the family and close loved one’s ecosystem, especially the person playing the role of the main caregiver. The partner who is healthier and more able bodied, wants to support the person who is experiencing greater health decline. Both people in a long-term significant relationship often will experience diminished capacity while aging. Usually one partner will decline faster than the other, and the burden on the main caregiver often leads to caregiver stress syndrome. This has a significant impact on the lives of those who take care of their loved ones. It can not only negatively impact the mood of the caregiver, but also have detrimental effects on his or her long-term health and wellness.

It is important for couples to stay together for a variety of reasons.

Here at Paradise Villa, we pride ourselves on caring for the whole person and an understanding of the importance that important relationships have on your health and wellbeing. Couples who have been together for many years often do not feel whole without their significant other. This is why Paradise Villa takes extra steps to try and ensure that couples can remain together at our residence. While keeping couples together physically at the residence is not always possible due to the health conditions of the individual, we always ensure that there is a comprehensive plan in place to keep couples and families engaged with each other overall, to optimize health and wellbeing for the individual and family as a whole.  

When together, couples thrive better and benefit from the support from each other. We have had many couples at Paradise Villa Assisted Living, and we have had great success with keeping couples together.  

We would like to share with you in our series on couples, five great stories of happy loving couples who we were able to stay together in the community and you’ll see why we love to keep couples together..

Dustin and Jane* (names changed to protect privacy) had been married for almost 70 years. They were a resident couple at Paradise Villa that Paradise Villa found a way to keep together. Jane was quite an active spitfire and still had plenty of energy to be “the boss” as Dustin referred to her with a smile. Dustin was the more quiet, stoic one in the relationship. Dustin was experiencing health issues and his care needs had become more complex and needed extra help to care for himself.

As much sharp mental energy and love and desire as Jane had for Dustin, she was not able to provide the physical care needs. Homecare became too expensive. Jane refused to stay at home without her soul mate. Both Jane and Dustin became residents at Paradise Villa, and we doted on them both. Dustin was much more comfortable, and Jane and Dustin were able to focus on their relationship and being there for each other emotionally while Paradise Villa helped to take care of Dustin’s other care needs.  When Dustin “left us to go to heaven” as Jane puts it, she was grateful for the extra time with her husband. Keeping them together for the remaining time that they had as a couple had helped both of them live longer, remain stronger, and lead happier and healthier lives while keeping the promise that they made to each other as a young couple that they would be together “till death do they part”.

Here at Paradise Villa we want to support all families, all relationships, and all elderly couples. To be there for you no matter what stage of life you are in, and surround you in the care, love and support you need to be your best, strongest and healthiest self. We welcome you to be a part of our family as we become much a part of the lives of our senior residents and share a part in your life journey.

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